WTF: What Exactly Is This Switch eShop Garbage, Nintendo?


The Switch eShop has some questionable inclusions in its library; we have covered such lowlights as The Last Hope: Dead Zone Survival (a Last of Us ‘clone’, apparently) and the catchily titled Prison Life Simulator 2022: World FIGHT Battle GTA ULTIMATE, which speaks for itself. But it looks there’s a new sheriff in town, one that makes these titles look almost like fully-fledged games. Introducing Courageous Reasoning Nori 4 Crossing Sea Street 4, whatever it is.

The above AI-generated image — which, yes, is actually from its North American eShop page — tells you all that you need to know about this upcoming ‘game’. There’s some sushi and some, errm, guns? The AI makes a trademark slip rendering two gun-looking shapes, for sure, if those guns were multi-handled (or in one case, non-handled) and being held by distorted digits that vaguely resemble fingers. Or maybe toes.

Perhaps the game’s eShop description, “Provided by the publisher”, naturally, will shed a little more light on what CRN4CSS4 (as we assume everybody is calling it) has in store:

Finally he showed up
New friends join you, and the battle for courage begins.

That’s a no, then.

Fortunately, the eShop screenshots make it abundantly clear what the game is all about. Uhhh, no again:

This tripe comes from publisher HERO GAME which has previously been behind such hit-sounding titles as inquiry for justice, Reasoning of Courage, and your future, all of which appear to come with the same brand of care and attention.

As we have said in the past, this least-possible-effort ‘content’ is hardly new on the eShop, but it is baffling that Nintendo doesn’t seem to see the damage being done to its image. Switch is perhaps the most family-friendly consoles, but seeing waves of rubbish like this doesn’t fill you with confidence that the eShop is safe for child browsing.

Nintendo evidently takes a hands-off policy when it comes to vetting submissions, at least until enough complaints are made (as we previously saw with The Last Hope). The process of vetting every single game would involve plenty of work — far easier to check it’s got an age rating and has had the minimum required eShop information submitted, right? It’s a process that is increasingly making a mockery of Switch’s online store — you only need to check out the biggest discounts in any sale to see just how much doo doo is out there.

Is it likely to change any time soon? We can’t see it happening, honestly, but it’s an embarrassment. Expect to see more ‘quality’ like Courageous Reasoning Nori 4 Crossing Sea Street 4 in the future, we guess…

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