Did you ever think you will find love online?
Tan: After trying online dating for a while, I knew my introverted self will find someone here. Talking to people outside makes me very anxious. I wasn’t looking for anything serious here but then things took a wonderful turn, as I met Payal and things suddenly felt easier.
Payal: I never thought online dating was a real thing until I downloaded Tinder out of curiosity! But then, I found the person I fell in love with. Dating apps are slowly changing the dating culture and it is all about minimum risk, maximum utility and constantly trying to find the best.
How different is online dating from finding love around you?
Tan: One can talk to anyone with the comfort of not putting up an act when we meet someone in person. There are so many things that come into count–the way we dress, eat etc. With online dating, it’s easy to exchange thoughts without having to think about all that added pressure.
Payal: As an introvert, I would say online dating is much more comfortable because we can be our true selves, without the worry of being judged or feeling shy. Meeting people in person gives a lot of anxiety which turns into a very awkward and uncomfortable date.
What are some of the things you don’t like when dating online?
Tan: I get worried a lot, mostly after a date like, whether they reached home safely or not, did they take their necessary things, or got into sudden fights, etc. These things can’t be controlled from the other side of the phone and it gets really weary. Though, at the end, it’s all worth it.
Payal: It’s the distance. Not seeing them for weeks or sometimes even months, the wait and frustration can get too much. Online dating or long-distance relationships can be pretty difficult to handle.
Were you putting up your perfect side when dating online or via texts? Or were you your true self?
Tan: Since I had this celebrity image of them in my mind, I was trying to act nonchalant (but screaming with excitement inside) in the beginning. But later, I got really comfortable being myself. I didn’t have to put up my perfect side. They laughed anyway.
Payal: I was actually me. I said whatever came to my mind and did what I wanted to. I felt so comfortable with them that I didn’t have to put up my perfect side and that’s what is special between us.
Can you tell us your dating bio?
Tan: My bio read “Mindhunter” as I was watching that show at that time. I was really into true crime documentaries and I thought it would be a nice conversation starter.
Payal: My bio said, “Funny sometimes, Sexy all the time.” I don’t know how I even thought of that but it caught quite the attention.
Is connecting over online dating apps as exciting as meeting someone in a physical space?
Tan: Yes, as an introvert I would say, talking to people on any online platform is way better. I mean it works for me more than talking physically. Sometimes their expressions make me nervous too.
Payal: Yes. Meeting in person could get a little awkward sometimes but talking to someone online is convenient. Because we can talk whenever and however we want. We don’t have to feel judged or uncomfortable. If it’s the latter, one can simply unmatch and swipe next.
What drew you to your partner online?
Tan: Their passion for music, as I was swiping through their pictures I saw they were very much passionate about what they were doing. It showed how much they respected music which attracted me and their smile, pure and bright as sunshine is amazing. Their humour matched mine and the constant meme sharing is hilarious!
Payal: They seemed very interesting and I knew I was gonna learn a lot from them. They are a very kind, honest and immensely talented person. Of course, there was a lot more that I came to know later and that adds up too.
Did you come across any fake profiles or false identities online? Any tips to tell if a person is real or fake?
Tan: I think I might have but I never realised it blatantly as I don’t talk to too many people anyway. I think one can never tell if an account is fake nowadays. People have become good at faking it.
Payal: Yes, I have come across a couple of fake IDs on social media as well as on the dating app. Verification features on dating apps make it possible to know if the account is fake or not, and that’s a really good way to know.
Was it love at first sight when you both met or did you take your time getting to know your partner?
Tan: When we met, I knew I liked them cus we had been talking for a while. But I took my time getting to know them and vice versa. Knowing someone properly, and being friends with them first is very important in any relationship.
Payal: Yes for me, it was love at first sight but I also wasn’t sure if they are really into me and dating me. So then I decided to take things slow and go meet them, talk, and know more about them. Everything turned out to be sweet and amazing
Do you feel taking chances or a ‘leap of faith’ is very important to get to where you are right now?
Tan: It was definitely a leap of faith for me when I sent them my social media handle and deleted Tinder. I didn’t expect them to text or even see my account. But they did and I’m so glad about it!
Payal: I did take a leap of faith when I went all the way to Pondicherry to meet them. I had nothing in mind; I just wanted to see them, hoping they were equally excited. And it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever taken.
Swipe for Love: “I am an introvert and online dating apps opened a whole new world for me”
Swipe for Love: “We eloped and married when our parents didn’t approve of our relationship”
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