Ask Allison: I resent my husband’s drinking but I stay quiet for the sake of the kids. Is this really the right thing to do?

Question: My husband drinks a lot — at times about a bottle of wine a night, more on weekends, and I have kind of made my peace with it as it hasn’t encroached on my life too much in the main. I myself don’t drink — probably because of how much he does. We have four kids — teenagers now, so someone had to stay on the ball when they were young. The thing is, it is a massive bar to our intimacy. I do love him but I hate alcohol, if you get me. I feel alcohol always comes before me and I resent that he won’t even consider giving it up to be closer to me. So I don’t feel like getting close.

e has been drinking more over Christmas, which is to be expected, and we haven’t argued about it because I haven’t said anything — which I often do, as saying something usually ends in the most unholy rows. I have been suppressing how I really feel in the interest of peace, primarily so my children can grow up in a peaceful home. But is/was this the right thing to do? Keep the peace for the sake of the kids? Or should I start thinking of myself?

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